What the FUCK was That?

{{NSFW}}
It was a spooky night on a Friday. The time was Eight O' Clock PM and I was lying in bed. There was a bad storm outside. I heard trees swaying and the sound of a bear roaring. It was scary, but I stayed calm cause I was in my house.
After an hour and a half later, I heard a tree fall in the woods. It gave me the chills for sure. I stayed calm and stayed in my bed. I was safe in my bed.
I then heard banging from my closet. At first I thought it was my cat, but then I remembered my cat had died from a heart attack after seeing something spooky two days ago.
It was October first when I opened my closet door to see what was going on. When I opened the door the lights in my room went out. It was scary, but I stayed calm. I opened the door and said, "Hello?"
I then felt something grab my ass cheek. I spun around exclaiming, "What the FUCK was that?!?!?"
I heard my parents door open and I knew I was in trouble. (I'm not aloud to swear.")
My Dad came in, except it wasn't my Dad. It was a skeleton. He looked at me while his form morphed into a fat guy. I was scared, but not scared enough to scream. I then heard a whisper in my ear which said, "Gonna give you the goofballs."
My ass cheek was grabbed again, and the fat skeleton thing smiled. They did this for hours. Then the fat one walked to me and asked if I liked the goofballs. He then stomped me to death.